I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
