Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
