He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize