For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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