can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
