I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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