I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize