But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
