Only a mothe r could love this liver
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
