..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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