I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize