Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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