Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
