It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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