Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
