I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
