he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
