So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
