Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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