thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
and you fell through a lawn chair
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
