what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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