Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
