You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
