Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We are all done wearing pants today
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
