Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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