By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
