Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
