Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
