Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
