two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
