If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
third nipple confirmed
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
