We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
