At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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