Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
