I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
