I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
