So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
