If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
