I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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