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Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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