I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How's work?
Spinning.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
