I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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