whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize