Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize