ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
