My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize