dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
