i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
