My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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