Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
