im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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