How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
