y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
