he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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