You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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