Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
