the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
