I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Randomize
