She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
